Change the Way We Look At Changes and Our Lives Change
Life is full of change and most of it is unexpected. Sometimes we were given opportunities that we weren’t sure if we should pursue. Sometimes we knew the “right thing” to do but we were too afraid to go out of our comfort zones…
I got to know a working mom back from my old blog. We became a very good friend immediately as we both were the first-time mother then. We talked about everything under the sun. Sometimes, I spoke more to her than to my husband. Eventually though as I stopped updating, we got disconnected, and we turned into “the closest strangers”.
One day out of the blue, she messaged me. She told me she had the opportunity to be self-employed, but she has many concerns that she felt only I would understand; she asked for my advice. To be honest, the only thing that crossed my mind, when she asked, was: how the heck I should advise? We haven’t been in touch for ages, I was sure I wouldn’t be of any good help!
As such, I subtly refused. Yet she was persistent. So I asked her why she HAD TO get my opinions.
“I’ve always find you quite inspiring.” (honestly I felt awkward typing this out but since this is part of the story it has to be included)
In fact when I saw that sentence on my phone screen I kinda suspected it for a “wrong sent”.
“Yes. You have no idea. Everytime when I read your posts I wish I could be as courageous as you are. I wanna be like you – the way you be yourself.”
“Huh? Be you, then!”
“What if I fail?”
“I wasn’t aware that people can actually fail at being themselves?!”
“I hate my job but I’m a very successful senior executive. My pay is one of the highest in the market. I enjoy how others always treat me with extraordinary respect because of the prestigious company I’m working for. But I can’t be myself because everyone has an expectation of how I should carry myself as a professional. I had to fulfill their expectations of me. And since I was extremely good at fulfilling everyone’s expectations, I was so successful! But I wasn’t happy. I feel trapped.”
“Honestly, I think you already have the answer?”
In the end, she left her company and started her own business (which she had been dreaming about). She said she suddenly had the courage to change a job that she’s been doing for more than 10 years because of some words I said:
… that life is a journey of learning. You can’t stop moving forward just because of the risk of failure. You can’t stay idle just thinking you don’t know what the next step “should be” because the path only uncover itself when you keep moving on. It’s not difficult to be yourself. The difficult part is to be someone you would fall in love with. And everything’s up to you.
You only admire me because you think I’ve done something you’d always wanted to do but never did. To me, though, you’re someone who can accomplish whatever you set your mind to. Don’t limit yourself and rid yourself of your potentials!”
When she came to thank me and told me those words changed her life, I was surprised. Actually, I don’t remember I said that before.
Coincidentally enough now that these words came back to me, my life’s gonna changed too!
And now that I look at it, I really have to quit the habit of being too critical when I speak. It’d better be positive and encouraging as words you put forth may return to you one day.
Just like what they say in the West: karma is a b*tch!
Maybe it’s time to think twice before commenting!